Amazing: With these 9 key phrases you can boost your emotional resilience according to a Harvard expert.
Doctor Cortney S. Warren is a psychologist specializing in the areas of marriage, love addiction and breakups. She obtained her clinical training at Harvard Medical School. According to her, emotionally resilient people have a thoughtful reaction to painful experiences. They allow themselves to grieve and focus on what they can control in the moment.
She has noticed that many people find it difficult to adopt this attitude. It takes effort, practice and mental toughness. And is convinced that if you use one of these expressions every day, you probably become more emotionally resilient than most:
1. “I can get over this.”
Emotional resilience is associated with perseverance and mental toughness. It is understood that one must be strong and overcome adversities without being broken.
Similar expression: “As hard as it may be, I can handle it.”
2. “I refuse to see myself as a victim.”
Being resilient means that when faced with the pain of abuse, you change your perspective: instead of saying, “I’m a victim and there’s nothing I can do about it”, you ask yourself, “How can I grow from of that?”
Similar expression: “Even though I was victimized in this situation, I will not let it define me or ruin my future.”
3. “Life is hard.”
Resilience is associated with a basic acceptance that life isn’t always fair, and that everyone goes through emotional hardships. Accepting this reality helps to not take everything personally when adverse events occur.
Similar phrase: “It won’t always go my way. But it’s part of the journey.”
4. “This too shall pass.”
Resilient people believe that obstacles and challenges may seem insurmountable in the moment, but nothing in life is permanent. This does not mean that the pain will disappear completely, but that one can work to make them less traumatic over time.
Similar expression: “Every day is an opportunity to get a little better.”
5. “What can I learn from this?”
The openness and ability to change perspective of “Why did this happen to me?” to “What can I take away from this to help me grow?” can help you better navigate through life’s ups and downs.
Similar expression: “There is always a lesson, even in the darkest experiences — I just have to find which one. How can I use this experience to strengthen and transform myself?”
6. “I need time.”
A key element of resilience is emotional flexibility, or the ability to regulate one’s emotions and reduce their intensity in a given situation. Mastering this can help us feel stronger in the face of challenges.
Similar expression: “I’m feeling a strong emotion, so I’m going to take a moment before I respond or make big decisions.”
7. “I still have much to be grateful for.”
We are naturally programmed to detect threats to our well-being. But resilient people find ways to turn to the positive, even in times of difficulty.
Similar expression: “I can go through difficult times, but I always find something to be grateful for the beautiful things in my life.”
8. “That’s how it is.”
The key to resilience is not denying reality or looking for a reason to feel better about why something happened. When we arrive at a state of radical acceptance, the situation has less hold on us.
Similar phrase: “I have to see reality as it is, even if that’s not what I want, in order to move on.”
9. “I let go.”
Staying bogged down in resentment, wanting revenge, or focusing on revenge keeps us from moving forward. Developing resilience requires coming to a state where we can see difficult life situations for what they are and actively choose to leave them behind.
Similar phrase: “Forgive doesn’t mean it was okay; it just means I don’t let it hold me back anymore.”
