Are only children really selfish, bossy, socially awkward, jealous? Not quite according to science. On the other hand, they have other very specific characteristics.
The bad reputation of only children precedes them. Selfish, bossy, socially awkward, jealous, used to getting what they want and, what’s more, often moody. However, many studies show that these traits are not necessarily associated with only children and, in many ways, are not particularly different from children who have siblings.
“The facts, in general, do not support the idea that children who grow up as only children have a deficit in social skills compared to those who have siblings,” Alice Goisis told the BBC, Associate Professor of Demography at the Center for Longitudinal Studies at University College London. These children are “comparable in terms of personality, relationship with their parents, success, motivation and personal adaptation to those who have brothers and sisters,” adds the researcher.
A study by Goisis and colleagues shows that other factors, such as the family’s socioeconomic situation or parents’ emotional resources, have a more significant impact on children’s development. Although some research shows differences, Goisis says these disparities are due to context and not being an only child per se.
“We found, for example, that in the United Kingdom, where being an only child is often a sign of having grown up in a privileged family, these children later in life had equal or better fitness than those who had brothers and sisters.” “While in Sweden, where the norm is to have two children and where only children often come from less well-off families, the latter have a more fragile form later in their life,” notes Goisis.
If the impact in cognitive or sociability terms is not significant, and is more linked to the context in which the child grows up, this does not mean that we cannot observe differences. Each position within the family, whether eldest, youngest or youngest, has its advantages and disadvantages, Linda Blair, a clinical psychologist based in the United Kingdom, told the BBC. One advantage she has observed is the linguistic excellence of only children. “This is due to parental language input, which is not interrupted by that of other children, and is essential for brain development during the first 24 to 36 months of life.”
Conversely, not having siblings may place the child in a less advantageous position. “Studies show that siblings can have a protective effect in cases of dysfunctional parental relationships,” explains Adriean Mancillas, an American psychologist. Another disadvantage is the lack of “street smarts” in only children, a kind of practical intelligence that can only be learned by living with people of the same age.
