Possessing his true self. Colton Underwood is telling all, nearly 1 month after coming out as gay on Good Morning America.
Underwood, 29, initially emerged Bachelor Nation on season 14 of The Bachelorette at 2018. He briefly starred on Bachelor in Paradise and was announced as the Bachelor at September 2018. In the conclusion of his season, he chose to continue relationship Cassie Randolph until their split in May 2020.
“I got into a place with my private life that was dark, and poor, and that I could list a lot of different items, but they’d all be explanations ,” Underwood clarified during his April Good Morning America interview, seemingly citing an episode with Randolph which led to her filing a restraining order in overdue 2020, which was later dropped. “I think general, the reason why now is since I got to some place where I didn’t think I was going to share this I do not, I’d have rather died than, say, I’m gay. I believe that was sort of my wake-up call.”
In a brand new interview with Variety, the NFL alum opened about the backlash following out his coming, with some claiming he was using his sexuality to cover up the seriousness of the allegations Randolph made against him.
“I don’t want people to think that I am coming out to change the narrative, or to brush and not take responsibility for my own actions, and that I have this homosexual life which I do not have to tackle my previous as a straight man,” the fact star said from the cover story published on Wednesday, May 12. “That was never my intention. Controlling situations to try and grasp at any part of the right fantasy that I was trying to live out was so wrong.”
“This year’s been a lot for a lot of people and it’s probably made a lot of individuals look at themselves at the year and figure out who they are,” he stated at the moment. “I’ve ran from myself for quite a while, I’ve hated myself for a very long time. I’m gay. I came to terms with that earlier this year, and another step in all this was sort of letting folks know.”
The reality star added,”I’m the happiest and healthiest I’ve ever been within my life. Which means the world to me”
Scroll through the gallery below for what he shared during his fresh interview.
Blackmailed
“I, at one stage, during my rock bottom and spiral, was becoming blackmailed,” he said. “Nobody knows that I was blackmailed.”
He said that last year, he secretly visited a spa famous for catering to gay clientele and received an anonymous email from a person claiming to have taken nude photographs of him in the place and threatening to”out” him, he came out into his rep.
Clearing the Air
“I didn’t physically touch or physically abuse Cassie in any manner, shape or form,” he advised Variety. He also reacted to backlash over his coming , as some maintained he was using his sexuality to cover up his past accidents. While he couldn’t get into any details regarding the allegations, he notes that it was”not my goals” to cover up anything.
An Apology
He explained that he was in this a”dark” area after their separation because he knew it was his final straight relationship. “It is not that I am as a human being, and it’s not the way I carry myself,” Underwood said. “When there was anything that I could do to take more possession, I would. But also, out of respect to her, ” I do not need to enter the information. I want this meeting to be the last time I tackle her because it is not fair for her to have her name in articles every time that I talk. I’m sorry, and that I need her to know I trust she has the very best, most amazing life.”
The Gay Bachelor?
Underwood explained that he expects ABC is going to have conversation about with a homosexual lead — but he’s not sure he would come back to the franchise. “I really don’t like speaking in definitives, but I’m not in a position to be in a series like this,” he said. “I’m at a crossroads in my life right now.”
A Suicide Attempt
The ABC alum noted that last summer he took an excessive number of pills. “I tried to end my life, and it didn’t work,” he recalled. “That was the most bizarre and most confused and most hurt [feeling].
Finding Comfort
Underwood noted that he didn’t have a gay person in his life to look up to, particularly in the football world, but did look in Ricky Martin as an icon. In addition, he rented Brokeback Mountain with his friend’s Blockbuster account.
