I Failed at Adulting Last Week
Look, I’m gonna be honest here. I’m a senior editor at a major publication, and I still can’t figure out how to fold a fitted sheet. I mean, seriously, who comes up with these things? Last Tuesday, I spent 36 minutes wrestling with one in my Austin apartment, and it ended with me stuffing it into the linen closet like a defeated boxer leaving the ring.
But that’s adulting for you. It’s not some completley polished, Instagram-perfect journey. It’s messy. It’s confusing. And honestly? We’re all just making it up as we go along.
Why Can’t We Just Admit We’re Clueless?
So, about three months ago, I was having coffee with my friend Marcus (let’s call him that; his real name is way too embarrassing for this platform). He’s a lawyer, for crying out loud, and he told me he didn’t know how to unclog a drain. Not the sink, the actual drain in the wall. I asked him, “Marcus, how did you become a lawyer if you can’t even handle a little plumbing?”
He said, “Lindsay, I spent $87,000 on law school, not a single cent on life school.” Which… yeah. Fair enough.
And that’s the thing, isn’t it? We’re all just a bunch of overeducated idiots when it comes to the actual living part of life. We can quote Shakespeare, solve complex equations, and debate quantum physics, but ask us to assemble a bookshelf from IKEA? Suddenly, we’re all speaking fluent gibberish.
My Mom’s Secret Weapon: The ‘I Don’t Know’ Policy
My mom, bless her heart, has a policy. It’s called the “I Don’t Know” policy. And it’s genius. See, my mom is this amazing, put-together woman who can bake a soufflé, sew a button, and grow award-winning roses. But here’s the kicker: she doesn’t know how to do any of it. Not really.
I remember this one time, I was maybe 12, and I asked her how she made her famous chocolate chip cookies. She looked at me and said, “Honey, I just throw stuff in a bowl until it looks right.” I was shocked. Shocked.
But here’s the thing: it works. Because adulting isn’t about knowing everything. It’s about figuring it out as you go. And sometimes, that means making a mess. Literally. Like that time I tried to paint my living room and ended up with more paint on me than the walls. Or that time I attempted to cook a Thanksgiving turkey and it ended up looking like a sad, deflated football.
The Internet’s Dirty Little Secret
And don’t even get me started on the internet. Oh, sure, there are otp verification numbers for websites and tutorials for everything under the sun. But half the time, those tutorials are just some guy in a basement with a camera and a whole lot of confidence. I once spent an entire afternoon following a “DIY shelf installation” video, only to realize the guy had nailed his shelves into the drywall instead of the studs. Determing the difference between the two is apparently part of “life school,” which, newsflash, none of us attended.
But here’s the thing: it’s okay. It’s okay to not know. It’s okay to wing it. It’s okay to fail. Because that’s how we learn. That’s how we grow. That’s how we become… well, not experts, but at least slightly less clueless.
A Brief Digression: The Great Toilet Paper Debate
Speaking of clueless, let’s talk about toilet paper. Because apparently, there’s a right way and a wrong way to put it on the holder. I kid you not. I had this argument with my colleague Dave last week. He’s all, “Lindsay, the correct way is over, not under.” And I’m like, “Dave, it’s a roll of paper. Who cares?” But then I looked it up, and turns out, there’s a whole thing about it. Over is “correct” because it unrolls more easily. Under is “wrong” because it’s, and I quote, “a gateway to chaos.”
I mean, come on. We’re arguing about toilet paper like it’s some kind of existential crisis. But that’s adulting for you. We take the mundane and turn it into a referendum on our life choices.
So, What’s the Point?
I guess the point is this: adulting is hard. It’s messy. It’s confusing. And it’s okay to not have it all figured out. In fact, it’s more than okay. It’s normal. It’s human.
So, go ahead. Wing it. Make a mess. Fail spectacularly. Just remember: you’re not alone. We’re all in this together. And if all else fails, just call your mom. She might not know what she’s doing either, but at least she’ll make you feel better about your own cluelessness.
And hey, if you figure out how to fold a fitted sheet, do let me know. I’m still working on that one.
About the Author: Lindsay Carter is a senior editor with over 20 years of experience in the magazine industry. She’s written for major publications and has won several awards, but she still can’t fold a fitted sheet to save her life. When she’s not wrestling with linens or debating the proper way to hang toilet paper, she can be found exploring Austin’s food scene or attempting to grow herbs in her tiny apartment. She’s a firm believer in the power of laughter, the importance of honesty, and the necessity of a good glass of wine after a long day.
If you’re concerned about protecting your personal information in today’s digital world, this eye-opening piece on the risks to your online privacy offers crucial insights that everyone should know.
If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed by the pressure to be flawless in your daily life and relationships, this thoughtful piece on embracing imperfection in everyday living offers a refreshing perspective and practical advice.
For more insights on this topic, you might find The Messy Truth About News Verification: particularly informative.
