I’m Officially Declaring Myself a Failure
It was last Tuesday, 11:30pm, and I was scrolling through Instagram. Again. I had planned to read that new Murakami novel. But no. Here I was, watching some influencer I don’t even like eat avocado toast in a café in Portland. I mean, come on, Sarah. Get it together.
This isn’t a one-off. It’s a pattern. A bad one. I’m terrible at doing nothing. And I’m not alone. We’re all addicted to doing, doing, doing. And it’s killing us softly, as that song goes.
Doing Nothing: The Lost Art
I’m not talking about vegging out in front of the TV. That’s not nothing. That’s something. Doing nothing is… well, it’s nothing. It’s sitting on your porch, watching clouds. It’s staring at a wall. It’s… I don’t know, listening to the hum of your fridge. It’s boring. It’s uncomfortable. It’s necessary.
I remember when I was a kid, my mom would send me outside to ‘go play’. And I’d just sit on the porch, watching ants march in lines. Hours would pass. I’d come inside sunburnt and thirsty, and my mom would smile and say, ‘See? That wasn’t so hard, was it?’
Now? Now I can’t even sit through a 10-minute meditation without checking my phone. What the hell happened?
The Science of Sitting Still
I talked to my friend, Dr. Marcus Chen (let’s call him that, because I’m not gonna use his real name and have him think I’m a total loser), about this. He’s some bigwig psychologist. Over coffee at the place on 5th, he told me, ‘Sarah, our brains are wired to seek. It’s an evolutionary thing. But now? We’ve got infinite stuff to seek. And it’s freaking us out.’
He said, ‘You need to train your brain to be okay with boredom. It’s like physical exercise. It’s hard at first. But then it gets easier. And you get better at it.’
Which… yeah. Fair enough. But how?
My 36-Hour Experiment: The Results Are In
So, I decided to do something crazy. I committed to doing nothing for an entire weekend. No phone, no TV, no books. Just… nothing. I told my husband, Dave, about it. He laughed. ‘You? Do nothing? Good luck with that.’
It was brutal. I started strong. Sat on the porch, watched the clouds. Then I got bored. So, I went inside and cleaned the kitchen. Then I organized the pantry. Then I alphabetized the spice rack. I mean, who does that? I do, apparently. When I’m avoiding doing nothing.
By Sunday afternoon, I was crawling the walls. I lasted 36 hours. Then I caved and watched a movie. But here’s the thing: I noticed stuff. Like the way the light hits the trees in our backyard at 4pm. The sound of the wind chimes when it’s gonna rain. The fact that our dog, Luna, has a tiny white spot on her ear that I’ve never noticed before. I never would’ve noticed any of that if I hadn’t been sitting there, doing nothing.
But What About Productivity?
Look, I get it. We’re all busy. We’ve got jobs, and kids, and aging parents, and student loans, and… ugh, the list is endless. But here’s the thing: doing nothing makes you more productive. It’s like… I don’t know, it’s like sleeping. You think you’re not doing anything, but your brain is busy cleaning up and organizing and stuff.
There’s this study (I read it on tech gadgets under budget review, of all places) that said people who take breaks are more productive than those who don’t. Duh, right? But it’s true. And not just a little bit more productive. Like, 214% more productive. That’s a lot.
So, yeah. Do nothing. Be unproductive. It’s good for you. And if anyone gives you crap about it, tell them Sarah said it’s okay.
A Tangent: The Time I Tried to Meditate
Oh, and remember when I tried to meditate? That was a disaster. I sat down, closed my eyes, and immediately started thinking about my grocery list. Then I got mad at myself for thinking about my grocery list. Then I started worrying that I wasn’t meditating correctly. Then I gave up and ate a bowl of ice cream. So, yeah. Meditation isn’t my thing. But that’s okay. Doing nothing doesn’t have to mean meditating. It can just mean… not doing stuff.
Let’s All Be Boring Together
So, here’s my proposal. Let’s all be boring together. Let’s sit on our porches and watch clouds. Let’s stare at walls. Let’s listen to the hum of our fridges. Let’s be unproductive and lazy and boring. Because honestly? It’s kinda nice.
And who knows? Maybe we’ll notice something amazing while we’re at it. Like a tiny white spot on our dog’s ear. Or the way the light hits the trees. Or the fact that doing nothing might just be the best thing we can do for ourselves.
So, what do you say? You in? Let’s do nothing together. It’ll be great.
About the Author
Sarah Thompson is a senior editor with 20+ years of experience writing for major publications. She’s also a self-proclaimed expert in doing nothing. You can find her on her porch, watching clouds, or on Instagram, watching other people eat avocado toast.
