Never before are there so many single people in the uk: 22 per cent of adults living without a partner, according to figures from statistics netherlands. Of course, there are happy singles, but according to Hannah, Cuppen, a psychologist and author of the book, Liefdesbang, tamper with, many people with the unconditional love that they are self-realized.
“That’s to do with more things to do. It used to be that men and women are much more dependent on each other. The man earned the money and women took care of the kids and cleaning the house. Now, a lot of people autonomy, the next step to go faster, put on hold.”
“But there’s more to it than that. We hold, unconsciously, a lot of the trauma that we have inherited from our parents, or even grandparents. That is, we may be in the process or maintaining relationships, a lot of work in there.”
“When you’re in the first few years of your life with the love and attention that you need, then you will be in a ‘safe out’ kind of way. This means that your intimacy is not afraid to go for it, but it is also possible that you’re not depending on the attitude of the other person. Unfortunately, it does not at all.”
“People with anxiety have the tendency to adhere to the other to hold onto.”
“your parents are emotionally out of reach, and you do not get the attention that you need it, or because they’re just right on top of your sitting, and you don’t have the space to yourself to explore the area. Sometimes it may be even a generation back, and will give you and your parents have their own trauma’s. As a child, you develop this unconscious survival strategies. If you’re an adult and can take place in your love life and can manifest in the form of separation anxiety or a fear of commitment.”
“People with anxiety have the tendency to adhere to the other to hold onto, while people with a fear of emotional closeness to the prefer to avoid. Ironically, these two kinds to each other, and they end up in a pattern of attraction and repulsion. The person with a fear of commitment is fear of intimacy, but it requires hard on the inside, too.”
“the One with the separation anxiety on the other hand, has a deep desire to connect, but at the same time afraid of it. It is, however, often do not become aware of the fear and then pulls this “happened” to be non-available to partners. As in dancing, both partners have to be next to each other and will never make it to a happy and successful relationship.”
“of Course, you have bad luck, and for an unavailable or extremely claimerig yesterday. After all, when you learn them and you will not have to have a go.”
“If you have time to hang with types who are emotionally unavailable, it’s time to take a critical look at yourself to find out.”
“But if you have time to hang with types who are emotionally unavailable or if you reject it, and moving from one relationship to the other is hopt, then it is time to take a critical look at yourself and go and have a look.”
“You can be sure to find something to do. But it is not. You hechtingsstijl to change, you will be in pain as a child and repressed, you must allow it. This means that you with the intense emotions of life.”
“Verlatings and the fear of commitment may also occur within a relationship or in a marriage.”
“That’s the reason why some people stay in bad relationships where they’re not at all happy with it. The fear of being left to his own devices, is so great that they are, and separation is not for the faint of heart.”
“there was A big misunderstanding, that is, the dynamics between separation anxiety and a fear of commitment will only occur when four. However, it can also be played out in a marriage. For example, if there is no intimacy, and partners ‘ emotional, not really connected to each other.”
Verlatings and the fear of commitment is a problem not just for singles, it is also in relationships and marriages. (Photo: Thinkstock)
“In my training, I work with a lot of the exercises, the pain that is deep in the body is stored, to the feeling. I work for my anxiety to get out. Just talking about it won’t help.”
“I know some people who have my book by heart, and the dynamics between separation anxiety and a fear of commitment, in theory, it is well to understand the implications. But because it’s kindpijn still do not have a lived-in, and they continue the same patterns are repeated. If you have the courage to make that old pain, and to feel that you can make it dynamic to change.”
“Maybe you’ll feel that attraction for a while, but I do nothing about it. It is also likely that other types will increase. If there is substance inside, it will change, this will have a positive effect on your love life.”
Hannah, Cuppen, is a psychologist and author of the best-seller Liefdesbang, of which over 50,000 copies have been sold. Also, she has won the award for Best Spiritual Book of the year 2015. Cuppen was struggling with myself, with anxiety and has been specializing in the dynamics between the verlatings and fear.
