Before the Wombi put all the functions as a pleasant and affable daughter, she was one of the variety of children, whose many talents amazed everyone: Climbing, Swimming, archery, playing the piano, kids yoga, chess, Painting, Singing, ice skating. It all happened with a wonderful ease. Teachers and coaches raved about the diligence and the talent of our great child, and of the Olaf, and I slept for the sake of our pride parboiled Breasts on the back. Today we sleep on the belly.

Christiane Tauzher: The Pubertäterin

Since puberty, our daughter, the mosquito, shortly after her 13. Birthday in your violence, we keep the Windows closed so the neighbors call the police. The Pubertäterin is not loud and unpredictable, when she sleeps, just like a Wombat, or eat – what you do for luck often.

The stories I tell – a journalist, 41, from Vienna, married to Olaf, a 46 – here, not act, of course, the Pubertäterin in my family. No. They come from my thriving imagination or come from other families. There, it is arg in the other families … 😉

The Wombi has thrown off their talents as troublesome Ballast, in order to create more space for SES. SES – Sleeping, eating, applying Makeup is time-consuming. Only a talent could not displace – the Singing.

Once in the week, the Wombi omitted sleep on the Afternoon, driving an hour to the public in the city centre, to sing with other Wombis in a choir and to refuel after a Chai Latte caramel at Starbucks. Not in any choir, but in the Wombi-choir of the Vienna state Opera. Who has been included in the ranks of the “Opera-Teens,” has the potential to be the next Anna Netrebko. In short: It is fucking cool, an Opera to be Wombi with a Chai Latte in Hand.

Never the Wombi, on the long way from the edge of the city, where we’ll be Mariobet Hillbillies in the City, where Starbucks has its Flagship. Even if for a performance-intensive, several times a week was rehearsed, murmured, and you growled.

It was a decency about a year ago, as a mathematics school work. The Wombi assured me that there is in the Opera school, a study room and that you would expect, during the breaks, exercise examples. To me, it would have been better, they would have been exposed to a few samples, to get home under my own eye on the school work to prepare. But clever as the was Wombi, was the assistant Director to call, explained to me how important the presence of each contributor in EACH sample. The Wombi, who sang a fisherman, was so totally important, and was not allowed to be missing.

C. Tauzher: The Pubertäterin “child, you gotta move more” – “Of stitch in my side, you can die!”

The school of work went into the pants. Of course the Wombi pushing everything to the Opera, and that she had always been in use. The exercise sheets I found a few days later in the paper. Out of a hundred examples, you had seven.

“Why, you haven’t practiced”, I asked, “you would have but also in the tram can learn.” The Wombi assured me that she was best prepared, but the common teachers have louder given unsolvable examples to school work. A call to the mother of Constantine, confirmed the opposite. The school work was particularly good. There were nine a’s.

“What did you do in the breaks?”

“You have a tenth of the exercise examples do not have even expected,” I said, “what did you do in the breaks between the samples?”

Wombis eyes narrowed to slits. “Are you spying on me?” she hissed. “If You Empty the waste paper box as a Spionageakt call, then Yes.” The Wombi crossed his arms. “I was with my Friends at Peek&Cloppenburg. We have tried ball gowns. It was a sell-out.”

and More of Christiane Tauzher

“I’ll say it now for the very last Time! Stories from the nearly perfect life of a mother”, by Christiane Tauzher, Goldegg Verlag, 14,95 Euro

“Why?” I asked. “Why not,” replied the Wombi.

“You’re 13. You’re going in the foreseeable future, to a prom. And what does that have to do with the sale?”

Wombi: Deep sigh. “You don’t understand.”

I: “There were ten samples in front of the school work. And since you have only managed seven practice examples. You will not have been every day, in the ball gowns?”

Wombi: “Well, Yes, there were a lot of prom dresses.”

I: Deep sigh. “I don’t understand.”

Wombi: “But I know now that for me Green is best. Apricot does not fit at all to my hair. And Black is too hard for me.”

Oh.