A parenting expert shares her #1 rule for raising successful children. It is simple, but requires a strong mind.
Respect, work, self-esteem… All parents have wondered if they are instilling the right values ??in their children and especially if their method of doing so is the right one. The lively debates that have recently resurfaced in France on the concept of benevolent education have further demonstrated this. The ambient pessimism and the eco-anxiety that is taking hold of part of society also make us think about the future of the next generations.
However, if you want to raise successful children, you will first have to free yourself from your anxieties and put your scowl in the closet. Michele Borba, an educational psychologist and parenting expert, recently explained to an American channel: “Our beliefs and our attitudes affect our children”. According to her, “if pessimism becomes permanent or pervasive, it robs our children of hope”.
According to this specialist, there is therefore only one rule for parents: “to show optimism as regularly as possible”. A pious wish in view of the waves of polls showing the tenacious pessimism of the French. In April, an Ifop poll for the JDD indicated that 72% of French people were “pessimistic about the future of France”; in July, an Elabe poll for La Tribune estimated 78% of those who say that France “is not doing well”, including 25% “not well at all”, 61% even thinking that it is “in decline”. .
This pessimism could become a self-fulfilling prophecy if it settles permanently in the heads of our children according to Michele Borba, who believes that “your attitude as a parent is contagious”. An optimistic outlook can help children thrive, while pervasive negativity can, in addition to stress, cause them to lose interest and hope, according to research, creating a huge gap to bridge for a happy and successful life. .
The psychologist offers some practical advice to ensure that children see difficulties as obstacles to be overcome rather than excuses for doing nothing. This starts with looking at your own habits. And the holidays come just in time for that:
Michele Borba assures us that it is not a question of being in denial or of becoming blind to the problems. According to her, you should not deny the difficulties, but identify the behaviors that lock you into a spiral of pessimism or anxiety and not give in to them.
Optimism can be learned and taught according to the expert, which is good news for parents and children alike. These visible efforts will empower children to self-address surrounding worry or personal anxieties and say to themselves “I’m going to keep going” as opposed to “Why should I keep going”. “That’s probably one of the highest correlations of success,” she concludes.
