How attached are our loved ones to us? Thanks to a theory of social psychology and a very clear grid, it is possible to understand them better.
Have you ever wondered if your spouse or friends really care about you? Human relationships can be complex and sometimes confusing. To better understand the dynamics of the ties that unite us, it can be useful to have a few tools. And specialists have created an analysis grid to explain “attachment styles”. This grid can help you assess your spouse or friends’ attachment to you.
When we talk about attachment styles, we are talking about behavior patterns that describe how individuals view their relationships. These models are based on work in social psychology. The four main attachment styles are: “secure,” “preoccupied,” “detached,” and “fearful-avoidant.”
Attachment theory was developed by psychoanalysts John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth in the 1950s. It initially aimed to understand the behavior of infants when separated from their caregivers. However, it has since been extended to explain the behaviors of adults in their romantic relationships.
This theory is today very widely explained in numerous psychology textbooks, very appreciated by the general public. As an example, “The New Science of Attachment and How You Can Find Love,” written by Dr. Amir Levine and Rachel Heller in 2010, recently experienced a sales boom. On TikTok, for its part, the hashtag
Here is the grid which allows you to identify types of attachment, they serve as an analysis grid.
Keep in mind that attachment styles are not rigid categories, but rather orientations on a spectrum. They can vary from one relationship to another. Furthermore, they are not value judgments; they are part of our behavior.
Understanding attachment styles can be a valuable tool for improving our relationships with our spouses, friends, family, and colleagues. These styles can evolve over time, and relationships can be strengthened through communication, understanding, and mutual love. According to experts who rely on this analysis grid, the key to more fulfilling relationships lies in awareness and mutual respect for our needs and those of our loved ones.
